Your Heart’s Desire

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Anne laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure. You have no idea how many male students talk about how sexy you are. I heard it all the time on the way to your class. If they only knew…”

“Exactly. But enough about me. We’re here to discuss your thesis aren’t we? Have you thought about a general direction for your paper?”

Anne grabbed her notebook and opened it. “I made a flow chart of potential topics I’d like to cover depending on how I choose to focus my thesis. Do you have any thoughts on this?”

“Hmm…” the professor said while studying the chart. “Personally, I would chose to focus on the feminist body imagine and its sexual objectification. I think you’re on the right track. If you’re using Valencia’s books as a reference point, then this topic will give you the most issues to analyze.”

“You’re right. She has a great way of discussing body imagine and sexualization. I’m sure you must have a good insight into that,” Anne said before realizing she put her foot in her mouth. “Oh…sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s perfectly alright. Being a lesbian isn’t something I openly tell people, but I wanted to let you know because I think it would help your work if you knew the source of your information came from. When Valencia talks about her sexual experiences in life, most people assume that she’s talking about men, when in fact she’s talking about women. Sometimes I wonder if any of the things she writes about is inspired by me.”

“That sounds so romantic,” Anne noted. “I wouldn’t be surprised if some of her writings were inspired by you. Valencia is pretty frank about her sexual history and exploits. Her honesty and soul bearing is what I enjoy most about her work.”

“Exactly. I think most women can relate to her on a personal level for that reason. I don’t mean to be rude, but have you had a lot of sexual experience in your life? Is that what drew you to write about this topic?”

Anne blushed, “I’m about average for my age. I’m definitely not as experienced as Valencia, but I guess that’s why I’m so drawn to it. I feel like I can experience new things vicariously through her.”

“I think that’s one of the difficulties you’re having,” Patricia said, in teaching mode. “It can sometimes be difficult to write about things you’ve never personally experienced.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’m going to go out and sleep with a bunch of people in order to finish this.”

The professor flashed a stern teacher’s look. “You know that’s not what I meant. Here, let me show you something Valencia taught me when I was her student. We were lovers at the time, so this may seem a little unorthodox to you.”

Patricia led the student to the living room window overlooking the busy San Francisco street. Anne stood directly in front of the window, and Patricia stood right behind her as they looked down at the populated area a few floors down.

“How do you feel?” the professor asked.

“Like I’m watching the world go by.”

Patricia pulled Anne’s hair back and caressed her shoulders and neck. Her hands moved down and lifted the student’s tshirt, revealing her stomach.

“Now how do you feel.”


Patricia lifted the tshirt higher until the student’s bra was exposed. She pulled the bottom cups off and the small breasts were shining under direct sunlight. Anybody walking on the crowded street could have easily looked up and seen her bare chest.

“And now?” she asked.

“Even more exposed,” Anne replied.

“Do you feel objectified? Or do you feel empowered? As a feminist, do you think it’s wrong that showing your womanly parts like this would get you in trouble?”

Patricia started caressing the small breasts in her hands and massaged them. The room was silent and she used her fingers to lightly pinch the delicate pink nipples.

“I’m sorry,” Anne said as she turned around and pulled her top down. “I can’t do this. I really have to go now.”

A startled looked came over Patricia’s face. “I hope you aren’t offended. I wasn’t trying to humiliate you in any way.”

“Don’t worry about it. Thanks for the lecture professor. I need to go.”

With that said, she quickly grabbed her notebook and left the apartment, almost running out of there.


Anne stared at her phone when she was supposed to be studying that night. For the rest of that day, all she thought about was how her former professor groped and exposed her in front of all those people. She couldn’t tell if she loved it or hated it. Her mind and her morals told her to hate it. But her heart and her vagina told her she loved it.

Without any more thought, she grabbed her phone and called the professor:

“Hello,” she answered.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“It’s nice to hear from you Anne. I’ve been meaning to call you, but I wanted things to cool down first. Plus you forgot your books and I need to give them back.”

“I haven’t forgotten those,” she replied. “I’m sorry for storming out like that. It’s just…”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” Patricia immediately stated. “I’m the one who should be sorry. That was extremely inappropriate on my part and I was just trying to teach you the way I had been taught.”

“I understand. It’s just that…I’m not gay. I didn’t want you to think I was. So I was kind of freaked out a little.”

“That’s completely understandable. Like I said, it was my fault entirely. Honestly, that’s never happened before in my professional career as a professor, so I don’t want you thinking that I prey on my students in any way.”

“Gosh no Professor Hamilton. I never got that impression at all. You’ve always been one of the best teachers I’ve ever had.”

“I thought I told you to call me Patricia?” she said playfully. “And thank you for the nice compliment. You’ve always been one of my favorite students as well. I really like you and I hope we can continue working together if you’re still interested.”

“I’m glad you still want to help me with my thesis. I was kind of lost, and this evening everything clicked after the advice you gave me and things are looking a lot better. So let’s just forget about what happened earlier. We were both caught up in the moment. Can I meet you at your place the same time tomorrow?” Anne asked.

“This is going to sound a bit weird in light of everything, but with finals coming and the afternoon classes I have to teach, the only time I’ll be available is in the evening.”

“Well, then evening it is.”


She arrived at 6pm sharp. The professor greeted her at the door barefoot, wearing only her work pants and a tank top. It was obvious that Patricia had just gotten back from work as her make up and hair were still done nicely.

They hugged and it was as if nothing was out of the ordinary between them.

An hour had passed and they ate dinner while discussing details of the thesis. They felt like best friends rather than having a normal teacher/student relationship.

“I think we’ve just made the perfect outline,” Anne said happily. “Seriously, this feels right. It’s like a huge sigh of relief from all the anxiety I’ve been feeling lately.”

“Like I said a few days ago, students just need to be guided in the right direction. You’re a smart girl. All I did was push you to where you needed to go.”

“You’re the best Professor Hamilton. I mean, Patricia.”

She smiled, “I like us better as friends. It’s more casual that way.”

“You’re right. And I want to apologize again for storming out of here yesterday. I thought about it and I slowly understood the point you were trying to get across.”

“How so?” Patricia asked with an eyebrow raised.

“You had me thinking with a new perspective on women’s sexuality and how we’re expected to behave. I must have written several pages that night based on everything I felt. I learned a lot from it.”

“It was mutually beneficial.”

“Are you attracted to me?” Anne blurted out.

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