I was a virgin when I met my husband Paul and throughout our twenty nine year marriage I have always been faithful to him and I’m pretty certain that he has been faithful to me.
The questions began several years ago. We were in bed making love and he asked me whether it was really true that he was the only man I had ever had sex with. I told him yes it was true. He then asked if there were ever idle moments when I wondered what it would be like to have sex with someone else. I said no I didn’t think about it, and the conversation ended there. I didn’t think too much about it – I assumed he was proud that he was the only person to have had me.
A while later he again asked me if I was ever curious about what sex with someone else would be like. Again I told him no, but he pushed it further, asking me if I ever wondered what it would feel like to have another man’s prick inside me. I was a bit taken aback by that and asked him straight-out whether he wanted me to have sex with someone else. He backtracked very quickly and said he was just curious that was all, and then he rather obviously changed the subject.
After a while the questions returned and finally he admitted that the idea of another man making love to me was a big turn-on for him. I was very surprised, indeed shocked, by that. I’m a rather shy, conservative person and I found it difficult to get my head round the fact that my husband was turned on by the thought of someone else having sex with me. He insisted that he loved me, but said that wife watching (as it’s apparently called) is a common male fantasy. He asked me whether I would ever consider a threesome or swapping with another couple, but I told him I wasn’t interested and he didn’t pursue it any further.
From time to time the subject did crop up again and we ended up using it as an agreeable fantasy. We would sometimes chat about scenarios which led to me having sex with another man while Paul watched and I must admit that it always got me very wet and invariably led to very exciting sex sessions.
Over the years I became not exactly receptive to the reality of the idea, but quite content with it as a fantasy. I think the closest I came to expressing a real interest was when I said to Paul that knowing I had his permission, then if I was in my thirties (as opposed to my late forties) and a very attractive man propositioned me, then I might just go for it. I did stress that he would have to be very attractive and Paul teased me saying that a man who was just “ordinary” attractive wasn’t good enough for me. It became a bit of a joke between us and whenever we made up a story where I was fucked by another man then he was always described as “seriously” attractive.
Things continued in that vein for a few years until one day last summer when I went to a nearby shopping center. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just spending a pleasant couple of hours browsing for clothes. As I was leaving one shop a man who was just entering held the door open for me. For just a fraction of a second we checked each other out. It was long enough for me to register that he was good looking, but I quickly moved on.
Soon afterwards I went into a greeting card shop and I noticed that the same man was already in there. I found myself behind him in the queue for the till and when he spotted that we had chosen identical cards he smiled and said “Snap”.
I did wonder if he was going to try and initiate a conversation, but he simply made his purchase, gave me a quick smile as he turned away from the till and then left the shop. By then it was nearly lunchtime so I made my way to my favorite coffee shop and somewhat to my embarrassment I found the same man in the queue in front of me. This was the third time and when he realised I was stood behind him again I tried to laugh it off, assuring him that I wasn’t stalking him.
“Don’t worry,” he said. ” I’m not so vain that I think attractive women follow me round.”
Anyway I got a coffee and sandwich, but when I looked round for a table I found they were all taken.
“I’m afraid I got the last one,” said a voice and I turned to find the same man looking at me. “It’s up to you, but you’re very welcome to share if you want.”
I hesitated for a moment and decided it was rude to refuse, so I put my food down and took a seat. He introduced himself as Mike and we made some polite small talk during which I learnt that he lived in the south and was up here on business for a couple of days. I made a casual reference to my husband quite early on in the conversation just to emphasise that I was married. He mentioned his wife and that reassured me a bit and I relaxed and enjoyed his company.
And he was enjoyable company. We didn’t chat about anything in particular, but the conversation flowed without either of us having to make any effort. I guessed he was probably about thirty-five, which is a good age for a man – they’ve lost the impatience of youth, but are still the right side of middle-age.
I was almost sorry to drain the last of my coffee and tell him that I had to be making a move. To be honest if I was single I would have been hoping that he was going to ask for a date, but instead he asked me something else.
“Kim can I ask you something. I’ll apologise in advance if it seems rude, I’ve no experience in these matters, but I feel I have to ask you.”
“What?” I asked, my heart beating a bit faster than normal.
“Well we’ve got on well, there seems to be some connection between us and for me at least it’s been a very pleasant break from everyday life. Hopefully it has been for you as well. I can’t think of any way of asking this without being rather blunt – would you be willing to come back to my room with me?”
I was surprised by that. I wasn’t offended and in truth I was flattered and a bit thrilled to be asked, but I knew I had to say no. I paused and then told Mike as gently as possible that in different circumstances I might have said yes, but the answer was no.