Have You Ever Had A Really Big One?

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The party was winding down. A noisy group was gathered in the doorway, too busy talking to get on with leaving. A woman named Pauline who came to the party with my friend Martin helped me carry the glasses and plates into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. We were alone in the kitchen, and when I turned from the open dishwasher to get more plates, Pauline grabbed my belt buckle, pulled me up to her and gave me a kiss.

“I hear you have a really big one, Bud. I’d really like to see it sometime.”

Pauline was drunk. Here we go again, I thought. Another thrill-seeker. We had all had a fair amount to drink and were feeling happy, so I wasn’t entirely surprised by her boldness. It’s just that things had been quiet in that department for a while, so Pauline’s proposition was unexpected.

“Pauline, I appreciate your interest but I think someone is giving you bad information. My thing is quite unremarkable.

“That’s not what I hear.”

“I’ll tell you what, Pauline, if I ever find a bottle with a genie in it, I’ll ask for a big one and I promise you’ll be the first one to see it.”

Pauline laughed. ” Can’t I just take a peek, Bud? I’ll be nice.”

“I’d be embarrassed and you’d feel you had to lie. You’d say, ‘That’s OK. Size doesn’t really matter’ and I’d have to strangle you. Sorry, but I don’t have what you’re looking for. Who told you this tale?”

“I won’t tell you, but she said she knew because she’d seen it. She said it was BIG.” Pauline held up here hands like someone telling a fish story.

“That big? And how did you get into this subject with her?”

“Well, girls talk, you know, about sex like guys do. Someone asked her if she’s ever had a big one and she said she had and it was yours.” She reached out and tried to grab my crotch, but I avoided her.

“So there were other women present during this description? Does that mean I am going to get popular?

“Oh please, Bud. I think she was telling the truth. Just let me have a little look.”

Fortunately Pauline’s date, Martin, lurched into the kitchen at that moment and announced that he was going to take her home right NOW. He wrestled her into her coat and as she was being hustled out the door she called over her shoulder, “I hope you find that genie, Bud.” Then she was gone.

I should have been used to it by now. I had been dodging propositions like Pauline’s most of my life. When I hadn’t dodged them, word got out and thrill seekers began to arrive looking for a big cock. That’s why I lied to her. She had the right information. I am, as they say, well hung. Some people inherit their father’s nose; some their mother’s legs; I inherited large equipment. I may have inherited it from my father but I never knew him. He left my mother shortly after my birth. Perhaps his large equipment led him astray. When women have sex with someone like me they often tell other women about it. I am one of those secrets that is enjoyed most when it’s shared. Then those who hear the secret get an itch to see what it would be like to take on a really big one. Pauline belonged to that group.

I honestly didn’t recognize that I was any different from other men until I had my first sexual experience, or almost had my first sexual experience. One day I had been making out on the living room couch with a young lady named Tiffany and we got to the point where she took off her panties and opened her legs. I then took off my pants and pulled out my hard-on. When she saw it she began to say ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. Then she said “I don’t think can do this” jumped in her panties and ran off leaving me very unsatisfied and pretty confused. I tried to understand. Tiffany took off after I pulled out my hard-on. My cock was the problem. My cock frightened her. The light bulb blinked on. I must have an unusually large cock. Tiffany had never seen anything like it. This idea came to me as a total shock. One minute I had been happily ordinary, and now I was sexually unusual. Instead of congratulating myself on having a large penis, I stupidly began to worry that other women might also bolt when my cock came into view. This was a problem!

I didn’t worry long. I soon discovered that not a few women were eager to experience a big penis. Tiffany’s friends began to seek me out and indicate that they were quite eager to pass the test that Tiffany had failed. A few just came right out and said they wanted fuck me. Then they would tell a friend, as Tiffany had surely told them, “I just fucked this guy with a huge cock!” and soon another thrill seeker would appear. Though I was just a beginner at sex and wanted to enjoy my penis’ celebrity, I decided after a few trial runs with Tiffany stand-ins, I had better zip up and keep to myself. I started learning how to turn down opportunities as gracefully as possible. Saying no was hard, but it was easier than being a freak. It was not until I reached college that I had a satisfactory sexual experience.

That experience was with an older woman. Harriet was in her thirties; I was nineteen. She taught my section of Psychology, and I met with her frequently during the semester, because I struggled with statistics. Harriet was patient, very helpful and very pretty. She was also recently divorced, though I didn’t know it. Harriet was lonely. After I passed the course, she said I should come for dinner to celebrate. I accepted.

I don’t know what I expected. I guess I hadn’t really thought about what the evening would be like, but when Harriet met me at the door I knew something was going to happen. Harriet was dressed, not like a teacher, but like a young woman who wanted to be attractive. I could see the curve of her breasts under her silk blouse. She wore a very short, clinging skirt and perfume. We sat on the couch in front of the fire and had wine. The room was dark and there were candles. Soon she was in my arms and we were kissing with her tongue exploring the inside of mouth, and I had unbuttoned her blouse and unsnapped her bra. She purred when I touched her breasts and pulled my head down so I could kiss them. Gently I sucked her nipples into my mouth and my hand went down to her thighs and then upward. When her legs opened for me, I pushed her panties aside and felt the delicate softness of her pussy. Harriet was on fire. She moaned and whispered yes’s in my ears. I was excited and I pressed on. When my finger parted her lips and touched her sensitive button, she jumped as though she had been given a shock.

“I think we had better go into my bedroom right now,” she said in a serious voice.

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